Thriving 30, Volume 24: Shifting Fear into Gratitude
Maybe I should stop writing about things that happen in my career choices. You can definitely see the ups and downs through my blog. From getting laid-off from a company I’ve been with for 5 years, booking a one-way ticket to Spain, finding a job, quitting a job, getting offers, finding my new calling, now what? What challenges will 2020 give me?
Getting furloughed.
To make matters worse, I’ve never heard that word before (I was thinking furrow, which is a type of irrigation. I digress!) To be quite honest, I was not happy. I was really upset in the sad, disappointed, why can’t I catch a break feeling. I was there for 8 months, I had all this drive and hunger to be excellent. I knew there was going to be new skills to learn and a big ramp up since I was so comfortable with my previous role. However, I was patient with myself. I wanted to soak in all the excitement of being brand new. Knowing my personality, this was really difficult. There was this constant battle of being a superstar while understanding that I deserve to reap all the joy at a new chapter. What can I do to apply what I wished I could’ve done so I can have a better learning experience as an adult? I was so wrapped up with juxtaposition of 1) making the most out of this experience 2) not forgetting that work doesn’t define who I am. However in the span of 15 minutes, this was all taken away. My position, the funding for education, my learning opportunity — everything that I was looking forward to. I was really emotional, cried a bit, worked on my resume, cried some more. All these emotions were not just unemployment related, it comes from being isolated and feeling helpless. Everyone started to give unsolicited advice and tried to predict what’s going to happen, when will things open up again, when can we go back to work, when will things go back to normal …. And then realizing… no one knows. We’ve never encountered anything that rocked the entire world this way. Everyone is acting and speaking upon fear.
All these thoughts hit me… I then realized how selfish of me to think about myself? The world is dealing with much bigger issues and here I am frustrated that I am unemployed and can’t go to the gym. I took a step back and thought to myself, we are dealing with something so much more than a virus.
People are actually dying, A LOT OF THEM.
People are losing loved ones, funerals are prohibited
We have front-liners working through this fear of uncertainty. Uncertainty of their motivation, their passion in the fields, their health, their lives
We have people working in customer service exposing themselves to risk of getting the virus, yet dealing with bratty, over-privileged people demanding for things that are out of stock
We have small businesses, creators of their passion of cooking, baking, coffee shops, estheticians that are struggling to make ends meet
We have a president that doesn’t give us hope
We are dealing with modern day racism across the nation against Blacks, Latinos, and Asians
We have a monumental election that sets the tone for this country for the next decade
We have SIP rules that are impacting domestic violence
We have lay-offs, people are losing their jobs even health benefits
Who am I to self-pity myself on being furloughed? I am so blessed. I have a family that cooks me delicious Vietnamese food on a weekly basis. Friends who are overly excited to host virtual workouts. Girl squads that are enthusiastic about which cloud-based peer-to-peer software platform has the best video chats. A roof that keeps me warm, an abundant amount of resources to educate and entertain myself.
I realized that this furlough is not a set back.
I am missing the bigger picture completely because this isn’t about me. I thought about a post I wrote about 2 years ago, why wasn’t I applying my lessons to this moment. Let me remind you and myself:
1) Life is way too short. Life can be taken away from you with a blink of an eye. There isn’t a perfect moment for anything since you can’t really predict the future, whatever you were waiting to do ...can never happen. The only person that can control this very moment is you. Take every moment, regret is your worst enemy.
2) Happiness is a choice. You can choose to be happy. Whatever you are going through now, whatever is making you sad right now, whatever is holding back now, know that it will pass. It will pass! It’s killing you this very moment… but know that in the long run, it will be minuscule
3) Live with life with as much passion as you can. Be kind(er), be (more) understanding, be (more) sympathetic, be a (better) human being. Our world needs it.
I was thinking about number 3 the most. And then I thought to myself what can I do to be a better human being right now? My favorite question a nurse asked me during my radiation therapy was “What can I do to make your day better?”. Thank you for making this far :) Let’s be there for each other, together be better human beings. Let me know what I can do to make your day better.